Sanctuary and Serenity

Posts Tagged ‘support

Telling My Truth.
When I start to tell the truth about my abuse I will notice that the voice of my abuser deep inside me will sometimes get louder and try to be more convincing.  The offender will try to tell me that I may be imagining the abuse, that he would never do such a thing, and maybe that I am crazy.  It isn’t until I really listen to the small, wise and truthful voice of that small inner-child that I can start to heal.  It is when I listen to this voice inside, and believe me no matter what I am hearing, that I can start to trust my adult-self.  As I hear and tell my truths, I start to be set free from the bonds of all those lies that I have believed in for so long – lies that may have cost me my life, my sanity, and my self.
I can start by telling my truth(s) – as I begin to know of them – to those safe people who will believe me, and not pity me.  As I get stronger I will know when I feel safe telling people that I may not know so well.  This is how I will connect with, get support from, and perhaps in time, help other survivors.

Be Gentle.
One of the thing I did not receive as a child was the quality of gentleness.  The sexual abuse was not gentle to my body, emotions, spirit, or intellect.  Instead I got disrespect, harshness, and sometimes brutality.  It is not a surprise that one of the hardest things for me to give myself now, is gentleness.
When I feel critical of myself, I will stop and remember that this emanates from all the messages I received from my offenders.  Instead of continuing to support these falsities, I will start to replace the thoughts with ones I originally deserved to hear – full of gentleness and loving support of my precious being.  This is one of the ways in which I can continue to hold the right people accountable and I can begin to adopt an attitude of gentleness toward myself.
I need to be gentle with all parts of myself.  I have too long had the burden of someone else’s sickness and shame.
I can be gentle with myself by honoring and respecting all of my feelings and by affirming the beautifully, unique pace of my healing process.  I will treat myself as I would a young child in times of great pain and fear – with patience, understanding, and gentleness.