Posts Tagged ‘nurture’
My sexual abuse experience taught me that I was alone and there would be no help or support. I held that feeling of total aloneness and may carry it with me on a daily basis. This is where hopelessness lives and flourishes.
I need to affirm that I am not a helpless or frightened child any longer. I am an adult, and I have many choices. One of those choices is to reach out to others and tell them how I feel. I can feel my feelings about having been left so alone and helpless, and use my adult-self to reassure her of protection, and help.
My inner-child may have some difficulty with believing in a Higher Power because she may not yet have had the experience of someone “coming through” for her. As I am able to be there for her and let others be there for her too, I nurture her need to believe in a protective, loving spiritual being.
I Deserved Caregivers that Loved and Nurtured Me.
We are born into this world as tiny, precious, and helpless. We were deserving of unconditional love and positive nurturing from our *care*givers. We are all gifts to be cherished and should have been recipients of the caring and love that enable us to thrive as healthy, whole human beings. When we were sexually abused by trusted caregivers, we quickly learned that people were there to cause us pain and we were at the mercy of those “big people.”
I may have received bits and pieces of love and nurturing, but it was tainted by the abuse. I received many confusing messages from them about my worth and questioned my place in the world.
I need to grieve the nonexistence of my mother and father as I would have them in my fantasies. As a small child I held on to images of loving, caring parents. This is how I survived. To accept reality today, and help to heal my authentic self, I must eventually, gradually come to grips with the sad fact that I didn’t receive that unconditional love, nurturing, and protection that every single, precious child deserves!
I must start to see my real parents as real people and grieve the losses of my “fantasy” parents. This can be a long and very painful process; yet if I don’t go through it, I will rob myself of needed healing. I can learn and appreciate that my inner-child and I survived despite the lack of basic necessities of life. I get to have all my feelings about this loss and as I move through the painful process, I am also learning to get on with my own real life.