Sanctuary and Serenity

Posts Tagged ‘knowledge

Learning to Parent Myself.
There have been many guides in my life.  There were people who helped me learn to parent myself, in a more nurturing, kind way.  I do not have to be alone.  I will need help in undoing a lot of the negative parenting skills I know and have internalized as a direct result of the abuse.  I need objective people who truly understand what any child needs to grow and flourish emotionally and spiritually.
These guides are found in many places and at many different times in my life.  Some are a consistent part of my life, others only for a fleeting moment.  However I may get this parenting knowledge, my inner-child will be much richer and stronger in spirit.
Each time I actively use the knowledge I get from my guides, I will be showing my child-within my love for her and my compassion for her past abuses.  She deserves to be parented in a loving, respectful way, and I can begin to give that to her.  She will help me know just what she needs from each guide.

I Don’t Have to Bear Those Unbearable Situations.
My choices were very limited when I was a child.  I couldn’t choose my parents, environment, or what happened in my environment.  Not only was I powerless, I was also helpless.  By surviving my abuse, I learned to bear terrifying situations that were abusive to my spirit and soul, emotions, and body.  I may have dissociated in order to deal with this abuse, or I might have buried memories and feelings.  I learned to bear the truly unbearable.  It was my way of surviving and keeping myself and my soul alive.
Now I am an adult and it is conceivable that I might just forget that I don’t have to do this any longer.  I may not even recognize abusive or unhealthy situations until someone gently brings my attention to them.  I am so used to numbing out, or believing that I should be “tough,” that I may stay in unhealthy situations long after I need to.  I can help my healing process by checking in with my inner-child to see if she is feeling as if she is being asked to “bear up” once again.  I can then use that knowledge along with my judgment to decide if I need to leave a situation or stay.  I can make better decisions today about what is challenging and what is hurtful if I am willing to tune in to my child-within’s feelings and exercise my mature thinking.
Making changes will be a process of trial and error and will certainly involve risk and some faith.  I will allow myself to make mistakes and know that I will grow from this natural process.  Sometimes the amount of pain I am in will help me to determine more readily what I need to do to take care of myself today.