Sanctuary and Serenity

Posts Tagged ‘inner child

I Deserve to Wear Flattering Clothing
Wearing clothes that flatter or reveal the shape of your body does not mean you are “asking” to be abused.  This is a valid fear for the inner child…and as an adult, you may, at times, have tried dressing to compliment your body, but could never quite feel confident that this was OK or healthy.
As I recovering from my abuse, I learn that I don’t have to hide my body with shapeless or colorless clothing.  I can let go of the shame about my body and know that its shape is truly beautiful and worthy of my respect.
I know that the way I choose to dress today, is up to me, and is not a reflection of my sexual intentions.  I can choose clothes that flatter my body and I can proclaim my femininity.  I don’t have to worry that how I dress myself will determine the behaviour of anyone else.  This is not possible.  I know that I have no control over others’ thoughts, feelings, or behaviour!
I am free to dress myself exactly as I wish – to embrace my sexuality. If old feelings resurface and I feel unsafe with how I express myself, I can listen and acknowledge those feelings and reassure myself of my rights.  I should never fear that the sight alone of my body will bring abuse from anyone.

Many times in my life I have ignored or discounted the messages my inner-child has attempted to send me.  She can be very correct in her idea of what is safe or healthy for me – if I will listen to her.  A queasy, tense feeling in my stomach or a persistent alertness can help me to know when I am in with an unsafe person or in an unsafe situation.  Her feelings can be trusted.
I probably spent my life ignoring these messages so I could survive.  I tried to “dig into my head” to try and figure it all out.  I may have figured that I was crazy, the one to blame, at fault, or plain wrong – but inside, I “felt” differently.  This feeling was my inner-child attempting to tell me the truth.
When I find myself defending my feelings I can be pretty sure that I am ignoring my inner-child and reverting back to an old survivor tactic – rationalization.  This is when I should stop, breathe very deeply, and practice getting in touch with my inner-child’s messages for me.  I can eventually learn to trust her and won’t have to intellectualize to hide my feelings.  I can simply start to trust my feelings and, therefore, myself.