Posts Tagged ‘Caregivers’
Taking Back My Power!
Victims/survivors of childhood sexual abuse sometimes spend many hours, days, years, waiting for someone to finally come and rescue them. This is childlike thinking and it might keep us locked in a negative mode of refusing to take responsibility for our own lives. We might have assumed surface responsibilities – working, socializing, supporting ourselves financially, emotionally, maybe even thriving in this area. To everyone else, we may appear to be in perfect control of our own destiny.
In real life, we have this tiny inner-child who is still waiting for someone to take care of all those unmet emotional needs. A basic part of growing up and, indeed, healing is realizing that no one else is going to do that for us. It is my job now. It belonged to my caregivers at one time, but now I am an adult. I am the one who can help to meet the emotional needs of my inner-child. She deserves to be attended to.
As I am willing to take simple responsibilities for my own life as an adult, I start to take back my power. I have cheated myself out of this opportunity for growth by waiting for someone else to supply that power for me.
I realize that I must keep on taking back my power from the abuser who originally took it and left me a victim. I will allow that abuser to have less of my power as I grow into taking back more responsibility for my own health. This affirms my inner-child and renames her a survivor – not a victim. Taking back my power is very empowering, and will help me to grow and become strong.
I Deserved Caregivers that Loved and Nurtured Me.
We are born into this world as tiny, precious, and helpless. We were deserving of unconditional love and positive nurturing from our *care*givers. We are all gifts to be cherished and should have been recipients of the caring and love that enable us to thrive as healthy, whole human beings. When we were sexually abused by trusted caregivers, we quickly learned that people were there to cause us pain and we were at the mercy of those “big people.”
I may have received bits and pieces of love and nurturing, but it was tainted by the abuse. I received many confusing messages from them about my worth and questioned my place in the world.
I need to grieve the nonexistence of my mother and father as I would have them in my fantasies. As a small child I held on to images of loving, caring parents. This is how I survived. To accept reality today, and help to heal my authentic self, I must eventually, gradually come to grips with the sad fact that I didn’t receive that unconditional love, nurturing, and protection that every single, precious child deserves!
I must start to see my real parents as real people and grieve the losses of my “fantasy” parents. This can be a long and very painful process; yet if I don’t go through it, I will rob myself of needed healing. I can learn and appreciate that my inner-child and I survived despite the lack of basic necessities of life. I get to have all my feelings about this loss and as I move through the painful process, I am also learning to get on with my own real life.