Sanctuary and Serenity

Archive for the ‘Castle Poetry’ Category


Daddy, I love you.

Why can’t you love me?

Everything I do is just for you,

But it is never good enough.

Daddy, do you ever wonder why

I can never seem to hold onto a guy?

I can tell you true that I let them go,

because I fear they will be just like you.

Daddy, do you know that who I am

is what you helped to create?

I am an insecure little girl

looking for love in all the wrong places.

Daddy, I hope you understand

that if you showed me a little more love

instead of the hate…that maybe,

just maybe I can believe in a man.

Daddy, please understand

I love you more than you’ll ever know.

It hurts me so much

that you can’t stand to look at my face.

I love you,

why can’t you love me too?

written by: Elizabeth Mary Barker

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You sold me out to reach your goals
Money, prestige, a comfortable berth
I was left with a head full of holes
And no sense at all of self-worth
When I was struck, you shifted blame
“You must have done something wrong”
Too bad he didn’t treat you the same
We’d know if you were truly strong
You left my brother in his “tender” care
And wonder why he will not call
You justify everything however you dare
I wish I could watch you crawl.
~By Merrymax!

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Nervous cold and hungry

Wanting to continue but knowing I can’t

Wishing it was over,

But glad it has only begun.

For some reason all I wanted to do is drive, drive, and drive.

But I am glad I am not.

Whats wrong with me?

God, I’m so confused.



~Our Child Within ~

A whisper slides around my mind
Wrapping it in unwanted recall
I beg it to leave, instead I find
I’m held in a strong, quiet thrall

“See me, admit me” says the child within
As I try to turn away
“You’ll never know peace ’til you let me win
‘Til I guide you to a new way”

A demand rises up, the voice becomes loud
“Forgive me” she screams in my ear
“Learn to cherish, learn to be proud
Of my strength in the face of our fear”

“Without my fight, where would you be?
Without my pain, what would you know?
The past is gone, you no longer must flee
Embrace me and find wonders to show
~By Merrymax’s Child-within!

He Stepped on Me

He stepped on me
It wasn’t his intention
But it sent me to a place
To scary to even mention
My guard was up
How did he get beyond it?
The constant babble of
The other passenger, the
Bumpy road, the pain caused
By the boot?

My foot received the blow
My heart felt the pain
I’ve heard it said – 2 places
At once – Impossible!
Not true! I’m there

My heart received the blow
By a foot other than his


Glassy Skin

Broken picture, broken glass on the floor then
in my hand
Smooth , sharp piercing yet painless to
on my skin
Can’t see the picture left in the frame
Only see the one playing in my brain
Detached feelings, shattered thoughts in my head then
around my feet
Blemished, shameful dark pain beyond imagination
in my mind
The glass shattered my sense of reality
Buried beneath the nothingness


The Soapbox Speech
Here I stand on my soapbox, ready to spew and spout.
There’s a problem with the human race, that I want to speak about.
They portray “A look, a trend, a fashion” as something beautiful.
They disregard the soul of a person, and that is pitiful.
Beauty consists of many things not just a “pretty face”.
Like kindness, sincerity, and trust; qualities you can’t replace.
A touch, a smell, and a smile make a person so valuable.
Not any of that cosmetic silicone junk that makes your body malleable.
Tenderness of heart, and purity of soul.  Things a beautiful person contains.
Not vanity, fame, or glamour as the advertiser claims.
Beauty comes in many shapes, colors, and sizes.
But if you aren’t a “perfect ten!” Why is you that society despises?
What is the world coming to where people are so vain?
Don’t they realize that in ignorance, they are causing soo much pain?
Here I stand shaking my finger at the people who are so blind.
Beauty is everywhere, in every person, just open your dumb mind.
Beauty is the creation of a child.
Beauty is staring at the creatures of the wild.
Beauty is in every place.
Beauty is in every face.
Beauty is found in every body part.
Beauty is found by those with a HEART.
DntdKnight steps down off his soapbox with tears in his eyes….


Forbidden Love

My tears flow inward Like Multnomah Falls
My heart splinters under the pressure

Overwhelmed by the tide Of your forbiddence
My ailment is fatal

In the absence of an audience You should know
My love for you is steadfast The adoration, unconditional

Your camaraderie will Never perceive
Without your tender passion
I am bereaved

Burning rage within me My love you defiled
My appearance brings you Diversion
I heard you laugh
To be a size you could love I’d cut myself in half

My heart overflows with woe
As I can not erase my love
With every twinge of pain
I know
I’ll love you through

I’m not quite sure who wrote was on S and S… with Dntd Knight’s writing…. if anyone knows, please let me know!


~Wave In.  Wave Out.~

Wave Of  Emotions

As I lay here on the beach with soft sand under my body, and a cool breeze blowing across my face;
I can’t help but think about the types of emotions that plague the human race.
When I close my eyes I reflect on these thoughts and listen to the waves.
It is then that I have solved the mystery, the answer that everyone craves.

With my eyes closed and my ears open I start to taste the salt from the air that’s about.
It reminds me of all the death in the world that leaves a bad taste in the mouth.  What would happen if I just spit those feelings out?
I hear the waves come in and go out.
My feelings of sadness from thinking of death comes in, then quickly goes out.

I move on to happiness, and start to smile.
It’s so peaceful right now, there’s no-one present for at least a mile.
I think of my God, family members, friends, and of all the natural surroundings.
Further out in the ocean the waves are peaceful, calm, these waves get me smiling.

I hold onto this image with a smile plastered on my face.
If we all could go out to that particular wave, the world would be a better place.
Wave in.  Wave out.
Happiness In.  Happiness Out.

I next listen to the waves as they crash onto the shore.
They splash down, and as they recede from the land, they scrape against some rocks.
It is an incredible noise that hurts the ears, and makes me feel pity for the rocks.
When one wave recedes another comes in to repeat the process.
This reminds me too much of all the things life can put you through.  As you overcome one obstacle another arises to try and keep your hopes down, and depress.

This emotion is one that reaches into the depths of your very being, and leaves you writhing.
I wonder how many times the wave will hit and drag over the rocks and reduce them to nothing?
Wave in.  Wave out.
Tears in.  Tears out.

As the last tear falls, I again listen for the waves.  Off in the distance I can hear the cry of seagull.  I open my eyes anda see it land on water.  A ripple spreads out.
A ripple? I start to understand this part of the wave.  The ocean helps many creatures survive.
With it’s vast size it can care for the creatures in the sea, or those above.
This too reminds me of an emotion.  The emotion of LOVE.

They say that love is the strongest emotion on the face of the earth.
It is shown by neighborly hospitality, genuine concern, or by even being responsible for a child’s birth.
I experience this emotion and my heart feels like dancing, it’s alive.
The ripple effect of love starts with one, then two, three, four and keeps going past five.

A joyful set of tears bursts out from my eyes.
The waves and the world are no longer a mystery, I now realize.
Wave in.  Wave out.
Love In.  Love out.

So, next time you go to the beach, close your eyes and relax.
Listen to the waves, think things through, you’ll get the knack.
Hopefully, someday others will find this key, unlock the door and go through these motions.
Hopefully, someday others will ride the wave of Emotions.

Wave in.  Wave out.


Fetal Alcohol’s Effects

The words go round and round in my head
I could have changed it. Why didn’t I stop?
I did not know it was hurting you
So deep inside my soul.

Now my night is full of dread
As I remember; it’s just a cop
Out, glass after glass, numb the pain
Little did I know what you had to gain

My Love, My baby, So sorry am I
To have poisoned you with my numbing spirits
The pain I caused you is more
Than all the anguish I ever endured

You grow, You love, You fight to live
A normal life, what’s that?
Do your best to overcome
My gaffe is your triumph.


I am the child you left behind
The past you run from
I am the corner of your mind
The place you never come
I am the pain too great to face
The horror that haunts the night
I am the one who sets the pace
To guide you toward the light
I am the strength of your soul
The warrior in your heart
I am the force to make you whole
The energy with which to start
I am all that is real
And everything that is not
I am the whisper you feel
The answer that you’ve sought


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“You’re crazy” I heard day after day
“Why do you act like you do?”
I tried so hard to get away
Why couldn’t you see it was you?

By night, one set of rules,
By day, you pretended another
You treated everyone else as fools
And played the part of “perfect mother”

My tears were fuel to your madness
You drank them to quench your thirst
You taught me myriad faces of sadness
As you told me my soul was cursed

I just wanted your love without condition
No more than any child needs
I ended up wishing you to perdition
And you still deny sowing the seeds.


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The woman stares in the mirror
The child fights to be seen
The woman averts her eyes in sorrow
The child has started to scream
She tells the girl to run away
But where did she have to go?
She tell the child to use her voice
But what weight was carried with “No”?
The woman tries to run away
The child joins into the race
She slips and fall into the woman’s life
The past must finally be faced.


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This poem is for a special friend.
Whose love for all here never seems to end.
A poem to the person that runs this site.
Bringing with her peace, security, love and light

I personally am glad that she was born.
Without her help, and concern we wouldn’t know the Unicorn.
Un-selfishly she donates her time, energy, concern, and tears.
My heart feels safe, it has less fears.

I am moved to tears when I think of how special she is to us all,
If we are going to stumble, she supports us, our strong wall.
So let’s give applause, hugs, and love to the remover of thorns.
My helmets off to you, SERENITY_UNICORN

We all love you Serenity.


The Parts of a Woman
The Hair of a woman smells fresh, like a fully opened rose.
Whether long or short, it adds to her beauty; which it shows.
It likes to be tousled, teased, and have fingers running through it.
With elegance and style, it gives the woman true merit.
The Eyes of a woman are like a mysterious, winding forest.
You can get lost in them for hours, never tiring; staring at beauty in it’s purest.
They twinkle, they shine, they glare, and they wink.
This part of the women is the most attractive I THINK!
The touch of a woman provides intense pleasure.
With a caress, as delicate as a butterfly’s wing.  OOOOH!  What a treasure!
The hands feel nice when you are holding them on the beach.
Or when in the heat of passion, in the dark the hands do reach…..
The heart of a woman is like a complex puzzle.
But it holds all their secrets, it’s what men should nuzzle.
Remember, Gentlemen!  How fragile and delicate the women are.
Treat them with respect, and dignity, you’ll get more from them by far.
Their heart just wants to be safe, happy, and filled with love.
There is nothing better in this world, then the women WE LOVE!
Since it is women’s month as Teannia says I just wanted to write something for you all.   Love your friend and brother