Sanctuary and Serenity


Posted on: March 26, 2010

Surviving the Process of Healing.
I didn’t realize that “healing” meant pain.  I saw healing as a relieving process.  As an adult, if I consider a physical wound, I understand that it will hurt at first and sometimes for a while as new body tissue is forming to heal the wound.  So it is with my sexual abuse wounds and healing.  As I become more and more aware of the wounds, I can start to feel the pain that has been frozen or buried – sometimes for years.  Feeling this pain is a natural part of my healing process, and I can get support as this occurs.
There may be many times when I don’t believe I can survive the pain of the healing process – that my wounds are too deep.  If I can just believe that I can and will survive this healing process, I can go through any pain I might find.  I will not die from feeling this pain.  I may need to believe I will survive simply because someone else tells me I can, or because I see another survivor healing and surviving.  This is how, very slowly, I come to a place of knowing within myself that I will survive.
“Living well is the best revenge.”
If I choose life – my life – and make health important in all parts of it, I will be helping to heal my wounds.  I do not and will not die for anyone.  I will do whatever it takes to heal.  I am not on a time schedule.  I will heal in exactly the way and in the amount of time I need and deserve.  My life, my way, my time, my schedule!


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