Sanctuary and Serenity

Unbearable!

Posted on: March 26, 2010


I Don’t Have to Bear Those Unbearable Situations.
My choices were very limited when I was a child.  I couldn’t choose my parents, environment, or what happened in my environment.  Not only was I powerless, I was also helpless.  By surviving my abuse, I learned to bear terrifying situations that were abusive to my spirit and soul, emotions, and body.  I may have dissociated in order to deal with this abuse, or I might have buried memories and feelings.  I learned to bear the truly unbearable.  It was my way of surviving and keeping myself and my soul alive.
Now I am an adult and it is conceivable that I might just forget that I don’t have to do this any longer.  I may not even recognize abusive or unhealthy situations until someone gently brings my attention to them.  I am so used to numbing out, or believing that I should be “tough,” that I may stay in unhealthy situations long after I need to.  I can help my healing process by checking in with my inner-child to see if she is feeling as if she is being asked to “bear up” once again.  I can then use that knowledge along with my judgment to decide if I need to leave a situation or stay.  I can make better decisions today about what is challenging and what is hurtful if I am willing to tune in to my child-within’s feelings and exercise my mature thinking.
Making changes will be a process of trial and error and will certainly involve risk and some faith.  I will allow myself to make mistakes and know that I will grow from this natural process.  Sometimes the amount of pain I am in will help me to determine more readily what I need to do to take care of myself today.

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