Sanctuary and Serenity

Tools – Anger Scripts

Posted on: March 26, 2010

These are phrases to use when you are so triggered that you can’t say anything else.  Memorize these scripts.  They will come in handy.
“Anything else?”
Use this when the other person is heaping their garbage on you and is convinced s/he is right.  Just keep asking, “Is there anything else?” in your most modulated tone, and s/he’ll quickly run out of steam.
Keep repeating “oh,” instead of answering.  You can smile if you want, but say nothing more than “oh.”  Be mindful of your tone of voice.  See how many ways you can say this word.  Challenge yourself to pick a very pleasant tone.  You might feel like a fool, but that simple word will quickly decrease hostility.  Do not rescue the other person; simply say “oh.”
“Tell me more.”
Mean it when you say it.  “Tell me more” is a sincere attempt to gather more information, to get the facts straight.  You can even write them down, asking permission first.  By the third asking, the other person usually feels complete.
“You may be right.  I could be more patient, thoughtful, etc.”
This is very useful when someone – particularly a family member – is criticizing you.  Instead of reacting, begin to understand their point of view.  Use the words “may” and “could.”  These words imply that you may be agreeing with the other person even though you may not be.
By Angela Jackson, Celebrating Anger….

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