Sanctuary and Serenity

Right Now.

Posted on: March 26, 2010

Choosing to Live in the Moment.
Many times in my life, my fear or self-loathing is so intense, that I feel I can’t go on.  I may have chosen to be hospitalized in the past, to keep me from harming myself or others.  I need to commend myself for doing this as this action may have kept me and my precious spirit alive and well, so that we could continue healing.
Those feelings may come back to me again, with the same intensity, but because of my continuing recovery, I know that I have many choices today – other than hospitalization.  I can allow that specific choice to be one of my last resorts and trust that I and the guides in my life will know when I need to use that option.
For now I can stay alive by using all my recovery tools and I can choose to live only for this moment.  This means that I will not look or think any further than what is happening in this present moment in my life.  I will focus on it by noticing my surroundings, what I am seeing, hearing, and how I am feeling.  I could write this down to affirm these facts for myself.  This will help to “ground” me in the reality of the present.
When the feelings are less intense, I can choose to look backward to feel feelings I have frozen inside.  This way I can heal and move on with my life.  This is different from being so overwhelmed by past feelings to the point of immobilization.  Staying focused on the present moment can keep me safe, sane, alive, and functioning.  I will use my creativity to choose activities to keep me focused on the present – like taking a walk, picking some flowers, washing the dishes, or running an errand.  Whatever it takes, I will do.


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